Chapter 7 - Attention!

"We're, SADUSEA...but on the other hand, we're glad to see..."

I would just like to point out before I begin that until I did the show I am about to tell you about, I could not dance for toffee. My right foot was almost certainly replaced by a duplicate of my left foot while I was still in the womb.

So when I was approached by Roger Redfarn to do Privates on Parade by Peter Nichols, how could I refuse?

Privates on Parade is set during the communist insurgency that took place in Malaya just after the Second World War and it follows a group of soldiers, mostly conscripts, who performed to the British troops that were stationed out there. 

On the cover of the script, it was subtitled 'A play with songs'. No problem, I thought, I adore singing as well as acting, so this should be a lot of fun. Then I found out that we would be dancing at the same time, and I almost bolted. If it weren't for the fact that Roger was directing it, I would have said no right off the bat.

Then I began to think about all the things I had done during my year at Chichester College; a lot of them had taken me so far out of my comfort zone that I no longer felt I needed one, so if I wasn't willing to try my best at a bit of musical style theatre, then I would have learnt nothing.

Me on the left as Charles with Andy behind me as Len doing our duet

I was cast as Charles Bishop, a gay northerner who had formed a kind of relationship with Len Bonny, another member of the group. Charles was the medic, assigned with looking after his unit, and he doted over Len like a mother hen a lot of the time. His character goes on quite a journey, and it came with opportunities to be both funny and serious, so it was a good balance.

Rehearsals were, however, very different, and were split into various types: those that dealt with the lines and blocking of the play, those that rehearsed the songs, and those that dealt with the dance moves. 

Our choreographer, Kate, was extremely patient with us, something I am very thankful for, and I was very pleased to see that I was not the only one without any real dance experience. These rehearsals always seemed the longest, and it took me several weeks to really get the hang of it, and we weren't singing at the same time yet.

Ah, yes, the singing. Our MD was Daniel, who wanted nothing short of perfection, and I don't blame him as a great deal of the emotional weight, as well as 50% of the laughs, came from the songs. He warned us before we started that he tended to crack the whip more than a little, however we didn't really give him much reason to. We hit our harmonies most of the time (thank goodness for my dominant Welsh genes), and I had a duet with Andy, the guy playing Len. It was a lovely song called Sunniside Lane which paid homage to Flanagan and Allen. I really enjoyed that moment as it clearly illustrated the closeness between the two characters without being overly schmaltzy.

Then came the crucial part of the rehearsal process, and I'm still surprised that Roger managed to pull this off. Our esteemed director called in an ex-Army corporal to be our drill instructor for the day. To add to the fun, I was late for this particular rehearsal, so they were already drilling when I walked into the auditorium. 

You can imagine the reaction of our instructor as I clambered up on stage after putting on a decidedly uncomfortable pair of boots. I really felt like I was at a boot camp and that I was the dodgy recruit who couldn't get anything right. We were taken through standing to attention, turns, saluting, and of course marching, which we did outside the theatre. I couldn't keep pace because the boots were starting to hurt my feet. By the end of the day, I had blisters on both heels, sore toes, and a highly increased amount of respect for our boys and girls in the armed forces.

The performances were so much fun, with a brilliant audience reaction. Everyone seemed to be having a whale of a time, and Roger was very pleased with all of us.

I came away from that production with a sense of achievement - not only had I managed to do a musical play successfully, I had actually managed to pull off some dance routines with the rest of the ensemble. I felt very proud. 

However even though I had developed a new found respect for the genre of musical theatre, my first love will always be acting.